Is this Normal?

While certain fetishes and kinky sex are uncommon, that doesn’t necessarily make them abnormal! If you’re curious about trying something new in the bedroom or have always been excited by the idea of something different, you’re not alone. Introducing sexual novelty into your relationship can be a great way to spice up your sex life and find the true height of your sexual potential.

You might be worried about what your partner might think or wondering how to tell them about something you’d like to try. Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable sharing their secret fetish or desires with their partner no matter how long they’ve been together! It is important to know that it is not uncommon to be sexually excited about the idea of something unusual, different or even a bit dangerous.


Bondage

Bondage refers to the eroticism of consensually being restrained or restraining one’s partner by being tied or bonded. This can be especially arousing because it plays with power dynamics by leaving the bonded partner at the sexual ‘mercy’ of the other partner who is temporarily in control. This can be especially exciting for couples who are used to very strong gender roles or power dynamics within their lives to shake things up in the bedroom!


S & M

S and M stand for sadomasochism which is the term used to describe pleasure derived from consensually receiving and inflicting pain and/or humiliation. As scary as this might sound, minimal forms of sadomasochism such as spanking, hair pulling or demeaning dirty talk are not as uncommon as you might think!

Similar to bondage, S & M creates a shift in the power and control dynamics, placing one partner in a dominant role and the other in a more submissive role. If done in a safe and consensual way, this can be exciting for couples to shake things up and experiment with sexual power and control. Together with bondage, S & M form what is known as BDSM – bondage, domination/submission and sadomasochism.


Role Play

Role Play refers to sexual excitement gained from taking on the role of a character and/or enacting a scene with your partner. This could be as simple as adopting a sexier more confident persona in the bedroom to dressing up, going out and pretending your partner is a stranger to meet at a bar.

Role play allows couples to act out fantasies and embody a character with sexual qualities they would like to possess. For some couples, this allows them to be more confident and adventurous than they normally would. It might add an element of mystery and excitement to a long-term, routine sexual relationship.


Rules & Boundaries

As with non-monogamous and open relationship styles, adding kink and novelty requires clear and honest communication with set boundaries and rules. Each partner is going to be comfortable with different things and it is important to be sensitive to each other’s boundaries and establish ground rules.


What can a FemTherapy Clinic Sex Therapist do to help?

If you’re curious about kink but not sure where to start – we can help. Here at FemTherapy, we can help you communicate with your partner about your innermost desires and fantasies and help you to experiment in ways that are safe, consensual and pleasurable for both of you.